Living with Scleroderma

this is nothing but a curve ball

Surrounded by prayer warriors

I am surrounded by amazing, prayerful and loving people!

These are just some of the sweet messages I’ve been receiving, I’m so blessed!

God is faithful

Comfort

Complete healing

I received this the other day and I’ve felt so much better after such a tough few weeks!
Healed

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Doing things as if I’m feeling 100%

I don’t know if its because I worked an earlier shift yesterday or its my body, but I’m so tired and weak today.

I barely got any sleep last night. I had 3 cough attacks, each lasting about 10-15 minutes each. I woke up around 6:30 this morning, but I was feeling a little stiff and I couldn’t move.

The kids woke up shortly and wanted me to go with them to the living room, but my body felt so heavy that I decided to stay in bed a little longer.

The kids were very good that they got ready for church pretty easy. They requested a Nutella sandwich for breakfast, and I couldn’t resist. It made me happy that they devoured it pretty quickly.

Then I figured that I should start getting ready. I thought a shower would make me feel better, but it didn’t. There were moments when I caught myself leaning towards the wall to keep my balance.

It was a challenge to actually get to church. I didn’t think even I was gonna make it till end of the service, but I did.

For lunch, we wanted to see my grandma and parents even for a bit. I was feeling so terrible toward the end of our meal, but I still made it.

We finally got home, and I was able to take a nap. The kids were amazing and kept themselves busy till I woke up.

After my nap, I was still feeling pretty weak, but I figured I need to get up and start taking care of the kiddies.

I have backpacks to go over, homework to check and lunches to pack for tomorrow.

Ahhh… to be not at my 100% and still do what I need to do for the kids, myself, the hubby and people I care about.

Just 2 more days till my next chemo treatment, hoping that will give me some relief.

Only through God’s strength…

I am blessed!

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A great day following a bad week

Last week was a tough one. I’ve been coughing a lot everyday and have been feeling much fatigue. My body was getting so stiff especially in the mornings that I could barely get up.
It would take me a good 20-30 minutes to get out of bed every morning. Saturday and Sunday the worst. After I finally got up, I was already exhausted after 30-45 minutes. It was a bit frustrating.

Getting ready is taking a lot longer nowadays, sometimes up to two hours each time. I thank God for the opportunity to be well enough to continue to take care of my little pumpkins. God is the source of my strength that keeps me going.

Yesterday, my body was extra achy and I was feeling cold. I thought it was just the weather change affecting my joints and Raynauds. As it turns out, I was running a fever. I decided to still come to work and try to go on with my day as much as I can. Hubby didn’t really want me to go, but I insisted. He said to keep him posted if I need to go home and he’ll come pick me up.

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I took some meds and went to work. I brought my medical paraphernalia with me, just in case.

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I had my thermometer, my blood pressure monitor and my Pulse Ox.

I was blessed with day of light work. It wasn’t stressful and I was able to take it easy while I was there. I finally started feeling better before lunch. And that made me happy.

The rest of the day went by and my fever finally went away. I can’t believe I went to work with a fever and made it! God is gracious!

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Chemo #6 and Chemo #7 DONE

It’s crazy that all of a sudden, our calendars are now filled with back to back doctor visits, tests and chemotherapy. Going to the hospital is so exhausting. I never thought I’d be going this much for myself. It’s almost rare to see a week without any activities pertaining to Scleroderma.

But for the most part, my visits and treatments are encouraging. Even some of the bad news don’t seem so bad when I realize that things could be a lot worst. And for that, I’m happy.

Chemo #7
Chemo #7

My last chemo was a little emotional. Not for me really, but for 2 other patients that I was next to.

The first one was an elderly man that was accompanied by his daughter and 2 grand daughters (probably in their 20s). They came in, a little loud, but they didn’t really care. I tried not to mind them. Besides, my meds were already kicking in so I fell asleep.

When I woke up, the old man was by himself. Then I saw him struggling to sit up from his chair. Hubby tried to help him up and called the nurse for him. As it turns out, he was already done with his treatment.

The ladies that accompanied him left him there, all by himself, so they can eat out. I felt so bad. I wouldn’t leave my dad or grandfather alone like that. I mean, there were 3 of them, they could’ve taken turns to eat while someone stayed to look after him.

Soon after his IV was removed, the elderly man walked away (probably looking for his companions). He came in a wheelchair and shouldn’t really be walking after treatment because he was probably a little weak and dizzy. I saw him pass by outside my room and moments later, I heard a loud thump. He fell and hit his head. A few minutes later, his daughter and grand daughters came back from eating and got upset at the nursing staff for not watching him the entire time.

I felt bad he fell, but it wasn’t the nursing staff’s fault. They have other patients to attend to. And He was already done. His family should have at least come back on time to take care of him.

Then, when I went to the restroom we were sharing with another patient, my heart sank when I looked at the floor. I saw pieces of hair all over the floor. Obviously it was a cancer patient that’s losing his/her hair due to chemotherapy. I’ve been blessed enough to keep my hair with treatment. But I can’t even begin to think how difficult it must be to lose your hair in addition to all the other stress and pain you’re going through when you’re sick.

My heart went out to that other patient and I was just quickly reminded of how much blessed I am even during this time.

Things are not perfect right now, but that’s OK. I’m learning to praise God in all my circumstances. Because all these trials don’t compare to His amazing plan in our life.

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